S04E08: Patrick SmartPants / SquidBob TentaclePants

“Robert, my dear…”

Original Airdates: October 21 / November 4, 2005

There is something sad to the fact that, by Season 4, the glory days of Patrick in particular are long gone. He always walked such a tightrope in the show’s best years, which I think is a testament to how coherent the show’s vision of him is: he’s stupid, but in a way that is so roundabout that it loops back around into something strangely intellectual. He’s a character with the sort of brain to say, “The inner machinations of my mind are an enigma,” while only being able to conjure the image of spilled milk. By Season 4, though, those more writerly leanings began to falter, and while I am generally quite receptive to the show modifying its characters in little ways as the writing staff evolves and forges their own take on the show, Patrick has found himself hit by these changes the hardest. For most of the years to come, he’s simply… stupid. No frills stupid. Sometimes insultingly so. And while that can work in the right episode if his stupidity is properly balanced against other characters and plugged into an interesting dynamic, when it’s simply treated as a comedic tool, it has a tendency to feel very lazy or obnoxious. 

“Patrick SmartPants,” though, splits the difference between the esoteric blitheness of Patrick in his best years, and the abject stupidity of him in his worst, with its simple but effective premise: after an accident leaves Patrick with head trauma, he suddenly finds himself smarter than he’s ever been, and struggles to reconcile his newly-evolved self against the self that he used to be, all at the detriment of his friendship to SpongeBob. There are some other episodes where Patrick finds himself estranged from his best friend while flirting, unexpectedly, with high society—see the less successful “Squidward’s School for Grown-ups”—but what makes this episode work particularly well is how much Patrick mourns the loss of his friendship to SpongeBob, and how desperately he wants to reignite it despite the odds being stacked against them. There’s actually something of a compelling emotional pull to the episode, as the two flip wistfully through photo albums and yearn for days’ past, and while the show doesn’t suddenly become a serious, gut-wrenching narrative, it also deftly dodges the sort of mawkish sentimentality of an episode like, say, “Have You Seen This Snail?” It’s understated, but effective.

It also helps, of course, that this is a pretty funny episode, and remarkably well-paced. It’s perhaps no big surprise that Patrick suddenly becoming not just smart, but stunningly intellectual, is intrinsically amusing, and Bill Fagerbakke performs this variation on his character perfectly, with a slightly British, almost conceited air about himself. It’s especially fun to see him play off of both Squidward and Sandy, Bikini Bottom’s most traditionally pretentious and intelligent residents respectively, only to outdo them on both counts to the degree that a new friendship can’t even form. (I also, as always, like the nod to the fact that although Squidward fancies himself a modern day renaissance man, he is kind of ass at his creative endeavors.) His chemistry with SpongeBob isn’t particularly strong, meanwhile, but that’s the point, and seeing them bound together in the episode’s final act, as Patrick subjects himself to his former notions of fun in search of common ground, lends the story a fun progression.

The resolution at the end of “Patrick SmartPants” is one that I’ve got mixed feelings on, with the revelation that his brain is actually something else entirely—a similar-looking “brain coral” found in the sight of his earlier accident. While I think there was probably a more clever and less arbitrary conclusion, I don’t mind it a ton as an escape route from the corner that the narrative threatens to back itself into, and if nothing else, it allows for a swift conclusion so that more of the episode can be focused on how Patrick has changed than simply why. And honestly, that’s a good way about things: if it’s not fun to interrogate an idea, we might as well just shift the focus to the sheer silliness of it all, and in turn, “Patrick SmartPants” is an enjoyably silly outing indeed.

“Woaaah! Rock on, freaky bro!”

It’s interesting to juxtapose “Patrick SmartPants” with “SquidBob TentaclePants,” and not just because of their nomenclature. Whereas the former is about upending a well-trod character dynamic by flipping one of its characters on his head, the latter is about reinforcing its dynamic through a more superficial gimmick: a scientific experiment gone wrong results in Squidward and SpongeBob’s bodies fusing together, forcing the show’s most diametrically-opposed characters into an uneasy partnership. To some extent, there is very little new here: Squidward resents SpongeBob and is tortured for his valid feelings towards the guy, while SpongeBob is generally unperturbed, even if it’s given both of their lives similar issues. The premise is definitely novel, but there’s very little unique character work going on to accompany it, so a lot of the grievances that I have with episodes like, say, “Funny Pants” or “Good Neighbors,” hold steady. To SpongeBob’s credit, though, he’s not actively annoying throughout much of this; if he’s not particularly attuned to Squidward’s emotions, he at least seems to understand some of his duress, which feels especially appreciable during the episode’s climax, where SpongeBob offers Squidward some needed reassurances that very nearly result in a rare victory for him.

What pushes “SquidBob TentaclePants” to a different level, really, is that few episodes have committed as hard to the level of insane grotesquery that this one does. Every subsequent image seems designed to outdo the last, conjuring up increasingly tortured fusions of the two characters, with a particularly memorable sequence zapping the two into increasingly more horrifying scenarios (a little kid’s birthday, delivering a baby). This is also to say nothing of the image that concludes the episode, which might be the most singlehandedly disturbing visual out of the entirety of SpongeBob’s run: Squidward draped across a chaise lounge, his body disfigured into an amorphous, fleshy mass with the catatonic, braindead faces of several other key SpongeBob characters fused together. At a certain point, I have to wonder to what degree this episode was a challenge on the writers’ and artists’ parts to see how much goodwill they could burn through to create the most horrifying things they possibly could. And as a reviewer that rewards audacity, there are definitely some points there.

Beyond that, though, there’s not terribly much to say. There is some truth to the fact that, at times, a fresh coat of paint on an overdone formula is the best that you can ask for during SpongeBob’s more unassuming or polarizing years, but once the shock dissipates, you’re largely left with an episode that simply meets your expectations of it, nothing more and nothing less. 

Favorite jokes:
From “Patrick SmartPants”: Patrick’s scene with Squidward, where he slowly finds himself to be truly repulsed by Squidward’s complete incompetence.
From “SquidBob TentaclePants”: Beyond the body horror being an obvious highlight for the episode, my favorite joke as written is the anxious response to Squidward’s clarinet performance, with one woman turning to her partner and uttering a very sincere, “Honey… I’m scared.” 

Stray Observations:
— “Come on, Patrick, let’s do something fun!” “Oh, you want to run some statistics? Or observe phenomenon and render hypothesis of said phenomenon?”
— I wrote about “SquidBob TentaclePants” in fairly broad strokes because, well, I don’t think much of it is that interesting, but there are two more things I can contribute here, as little addendums. One: it is nice to see Sandy involved at the level that she is, even if she’s not used in a particularly special way. I just like Sandy! I think she’s great! Two: I have no idea what to make of the fact that Bikini Bottom suddenly accepts Squidward because he has become a deformed freak. I just don’t really get the optics of it, and it feels like it only really exists as an idea within the plot so that it can give Squidward a hollow victory that can be very swiftly taken away from him. And that’s kinda lame!
— This week, in SpongeBob crying news: “Patrick SmartPants” features some justifiable waterworks, but our valiant hero maintains good spirits throughout “SquidBob TentaclePants.” 9/14 episodes… not bad, I guess?

FINAL GRADES: B/C+.

Season Episode Ranking:
     1. Skill Crane (A-)

     2. Mermaid Man & Barnacle Boy VI: The Motion Picture (B+)

     3. Selling Out (B)

     4. Patrick SmartPants (B)
     5. Enemy In-Law (B)
     6. Krabs vs. Plankton (B)
     7. The Lost Mattress (B-)
     8. Fear of a Krabby Patty (B-)
     9. Dunces and Dragons (B-)
    10. SquidBob TentaclePants (C+)
    11. Have You Seen This Snail? (C+)
    12. Shell of a Man (C+)

    13. Funny Pants (C)
    14. Good Neighbors (C-)

Next week: Mr. Krabs creates a hotel, and Mrs. Puff enjoys retirement.

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